Symptoms Of Acute Diverus Addicionus
(Yes, that's a technical term.)
Are you addicited to diving?
If so, visit your D.O. - s/he'll make sure you stay that way!
You put your shopping in a goodie bag.
Your dog is a qualified diver.
Your teddy bear has logged over 100 dives.
Your wife makes a new rule: the scuba set can no longer come to bed.
You start dating mermaids.
You do practice dives in the bath every night.
You do practice dives in the bath on nitrox.
You buy a bigger bath-tub so that all your kit fits inside.
You buy a 100kg lifting bag and take it with you when you go diving in the pool.
You wear your computer to breakfast.
You wear a drysuit on the street - just in case it rains.
Your husband tells you that he's no longer going to let you wear a buddy-line in the restaurant.
You think about diving in your goldfish bowl.
You actually try diving in your goldfish bowl.
The tv remote is missing and you don't even care.
Your cylinder is in the shop so you get a lemonade bottle, pump it up with a bike pump and go diving.
You laugh at people with 200bar cylinders.
Your air-fill bills arrive at your doorstep in a box.
Your girlfriend finds a new buddy whose got a bigger crowbar.
Your wife says communication is important in a marriage, so you buy her a slate.
When you lose your kid in a shopping mall you look around for one minute then ascend.
You throw you bike in a pond and go wreck diving.
You spend the whole day dreaming about getting a bigger bits-box.
When someone falls off their bike, your first instinct is to hit the man over-board button.
You dive so regularly that decompression stops are pointless.
You walk around the street with a SpareAir attached to your jean's belt.
You can justify calling Jacques Cousteau a snorkeller.
You start typing stuff like this.
Your diving kit got stolen while you were in the pub. You haven't dived for a whole day. You start to twitch. You put an inverted fish-tank over your head and dive the Moldavia. You surface with more than 5 portholes.
The information contained within this page is intended for amusement only.
Written by Andrew Pugsley.
E-mail: diver@ukgateway.net
Featured in the December 1996 issue of School Diver magazine.
